If you’re like most young women, these may have been your first words upon hearing of your diagnosis.
Randi Rosenberg, who was diagnosed at age 32, remembers having that reaction from the very beginning –even on the day her gynecologist found the lump. “I asked her, ‘What do you think?’ And her response was, ‘You’re too young for breast cancer.’ I thought, ‘Perfect. Absolutely right. I am too young for breast cancer.’ And I wasn’t actually diagnosed until a full year later.”
The frustration young women experience because of the prevailing attitude that young women don’t get breast cancer is one of many unique medical and psychosocial issues young women with breast cancer face, according to Randi who is now the president of the Young Survival Coalition, the only international organization focused on breast cancer and young women.
Fertility, premature menopause caused by chemotherapy, new marriages and young children, body image, dating, managing at work, problems with peer support and intense feelings of isolation: these issues, and so many others are special to women diagnosed under the age of 40.
“I didn’t think I’d find anyone my age that I could talk to,” remembers Kelly Douglas of Indianapolis, diagnosed at age 24. Barely out of college and newly married, Kelly recognized that the other oncology patients were her grandmother’s age, and the wigs she begrudgingly tried on were better suited for her mother.
“I’m at the age where my friends are getting married and having babies. They’re not dealing with breast cancer,” says Kelly.
Given the culture in which we live, it is safe to say your breasts play a central role in your body image and your sense of yourself as a woman. It’s hard for women of any age to cope with the idea of losing a breast, but it’s a special challenge for young women. “The only thing that made it easier for me was the sense that my body had turned on me,” says Kelly, who underwent a mastectomy with reconstruction.
Single young women who are diagnosed with breast cancer worry about having the courage to expose their new, post-cancer bodies to new sexual partners, while women who are already in relationships are concerned about their partners’ losing desire for them. “The trepidation is that you’re going to open your shirt…and that someone’s going to cringe and say, ‘Look at that, oh, my God’” says Roberta Levy-Schwartz, diagnosed at age 27.
To her amazement, Roberta met her husband, Lee, just 6 months after being diagnosed, during a time when it seemed too daunting to even make a new friend, let alone date.
If you’re in your twenties or thirties, you are most likely either just getting started with your career or just hitting your stride professionally. Being diagnosed with breast cancer brings a whole new dimension to this already challenging arena.
Kelly, who is a toy designer, was in her job for one year before being diagnosed. “It’s really hard because industries move so fast and if you don’t meet a deadline, that’s a sign of weakness.”
While Kelly’s diagnosis renewed her belief in her artistic career choice, other young women use their breast cancer experience as a wake-up call, moving them out of jobs that they didn’t really care about into work that they find more meaningful.
For Randi, great comfort – and sadness -- is found in the realization that she is not alone. Nearly 11,000 young women will be diagnosed with breast cancer this year, and it is with them that Randi wants to share her hard-won wisdom and experience.
When she finished chemotherapy at the age of 33 and started on the recommended 5-year course of tamoxifen, Randi never imagined motherhood was in her future. Both treatments were accompanied by hot flashes, something 57 percent of all premenopausal women experience, as she was thrown into premature menopause. “I was not happy about the fact that the choice of whether to have children might not be mine to make,” she remembers.
While new procedures do exist to help young breast cancer patients preserve their fertility, Randi’s chemo-induced menopause was temporary. And in June 2004 she gave birth to Alexandra Marais, a healthy baby girl.
“The idea of me finding myself pregnant at 38 years old, six years after being treated for breast cancer is just miraculous.”
Editor’s Note:
Beth Murphy is a documentary producer/director (www.principlepictures.com), and author of “Fighting For Our Future: How Young Women Find Strength, Hope and Courage While Taking Control of Breast Cancer” (McGraw Hill, 2003).
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